Question by Sunshine: Ok, this one’s going to be a long one..I am utterly confused and have no idea what to do..?
I have been with a guy for the past 8 years(engaged and legally married) but not yet done with the rituals. This means we both stay at our individual places with family and not together..He is a Fantastic Human Being and a great boyfriend/husband.(Lets call him John) The problem starts here..Somewhere in the third year of our relationship, there was an incident that bought in huge differences between us. (Na, none of us cheated, but too personal). We sorted it out and things were fine but i could personally never overcome the distance..Life went on..We set examples for friends in terms of how our relation was progressing..On the outset, everything looked like a fairy tale..But somewhere though he was an indeal husband and an ideal person, i never found the magic..I love him a lot and cant think of a life without him. Add to it the fact that he stood by me when I needed it the most..if not for anything..i cant give up on him for atleast that one fact..Now is the twist..I met a guy at workplace, we hit it off as friends and then the expected thing happened. I found someone I could connect to.someone i could laugh with and be myself..I had not kept this guy in any darkness and he knew I was engaged…My attraction towards him(Lets call him Robert) kept growing by the day and without even realising how far I had gone, my feelings foe him overshadowed my feelings for my guy. Especially after being physical, teh feeling seems to have become all the more stronger so much so that when my guy tries to come close it becomes really traumatising for me as I cant take anyone except Robert coming close to me. I am about to be married (ritual wise) in the next couple of months and have no clue what to do..The sad part of it is I dont know what Robert feels for me..The sex is amazing, he is very caring, but would never want to commit for marriage..He always tells me he has nothing for me and it was all for sex but somewhere deep down my heart I know he loves me too and does not want to let go.. Everytime we try to break up thinking its in our best interests to seperate from each other, we can hardly stay withou talking for more than a day or two..
I am so utterly confused..Can someone tell me what to do..
GUYS NO RUDE ANSWERS OR CALLING NAMES..This is a situation nobody would want to be in..I dont even know what to call it…
Best answer:
Answer by Soi
get married to your guy (John) and forget about Robert. you were actually cheating on john if you think about it. and if he comes to know about it he will feel very bad.
What do you think? Answer below!
I can understand where your coming from because I’ve been in a similar situation. You just have to ask yourself what you really want, and I know that’s cliche but it’s true. Ask yourself if it’s really about the sex or do you truly love “Robert”. This type of thing is never easy and someone will end up getting hurt, be it “John”, “Robert”, or yourself.
so your cheating on your fiance? wow, i don’t even think you should go through with the ritual. you’ve probably been with this guy for so long that you just don’t feel that spark anymore, yano? as for this other guy, i’m getting the feeling he just wants you for sex. yano how guys are, they will say anything just to get in your pants. i personally feel that you have the better guy already, why fuck it up? i mean understandable the flame is dimming between you too, but don’t you think it’s time to end it then, instead of hurting him even more by sleeping with someone else.
the best thing to do is be honest, to yourself, to your man, & your heart.
good luck. 😀
BreBea — Hit the nail on the head.
Lydian — Sarcastic, but correct.
dump John and go for Robert… that way John doesn’t have to be married to a cheating ***** and you can get taken advantage of by Robert ^_^
you obviously want to dump John so stop messing with him
“He only wants me for sex but deep down in my heart i know he loves me”????
-_-
you are just trying to justify yourself by coming to yahoo answers to get people to agree with you.
Robert has unbridled passion which your finance does not have, On your wedding night, your dreams will be of restless walks when you prowl the night, looking for Robert. Robert will give you his love, but not his life. Robert has the magic, the fire and your body swoons for him. Robert will be your temporary journey of self-identity amd getting to know what your body must have. This journey is terrifying for one reason~~you ultimately find that your fiance is not part of the equation.
well u really are in a deep situation, if u really love john then you would find a way to make it work out to keep away from robert maybe even by confessing to him, if not then try to connect with john more by spending more time with him (the time you spend with robert spend it with ur real man)