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Question by butnozzle: A friend of mine says SEX is the only thing sacred in marriage today. Is he right?
His reasoning is that every other thing in marriage you can get outside the union and people won’t bat an eye. Need love and emotional support – you can get that from friends and extended family. Want someone to have a child with – you can get a sperm doner or serrogate mother. Want someone to raise kid with – get a nanny.
I know these aren’t the actual reason to get married but he presented it that everything that takes place in a marriage can be found in some sort of “acceptable” outside source. That is everything but actual sex, so that leads to the question is sex the only thing sacred in marriage in so that you can’t find some sort of substitute that will allow you to get something your partner isn’t giving you.

Best answer:

Answer by mouchetwig
No, I would have to say that trust is the most sacred thing in marriages. Without the trust, you would not have the sex or anything else.

Add your own answer in the comments!

15 Responses to A friend of mine says SEX is the only thing sacred in marriage today. Is he right?

  • Juli says:

    it depends on what marriage. Some ppl really like their marriage, but many couples want to really spend the rest of their lives together. The pl that r only interested in sex shudnt get married, but rather get some hoes and you get the rest. But not ruin someones life by using them, giving them so much hope for a wonderful life together as a married couple!

  • Jellybean says:

    He’s not married then? What an idiot, Marriage is about so much more than that

  • Kevin W says:

    He is very wrong….everything is sacred in marriage…..you have found love, and want to keep it, you do not show it to another, or share anything with any other…..

  • Missy says:

    after reading that I can understand where hes coming from saying that but I think trust and respect is the most important without that there wouldnt be sex.

  • mississippi queen says:

    No I dont think your friend is right.Friendship,trust,honesty! If you can find this in a marriage to me that is sacred.

  • ric6k9 says:

    i would like to believe that also

  • Erica says:

    My opinion he would be right, up to a point. The other sacred things in marriage is the specific emotional bond between a husband and wife. There are certain types of hugging, cuddling and kissing that is reserved for your spouse. Also people who are married should go out on private dates and take vacation together, etc. There are certain types of love and emotional support that only a spouse can give and take. Sexual contact even if it’s not sexual intercourse should be between spouses only also. Sleeping in the same bed together, sharing two lives together. Also there are legal benefits people can get if they are married, health and life insurance, bigger tax returns, sharing home and vehicles, etc. Not everything is acceptable from an outside source. However there are some things you can but it is never the same or should not be the same.

  • cocoa says:

    Sorry to say but your friend must have had some tough experiences in life!!!! The reason I say that is because in a marriage the love and support that you receive from your partner and the love and support that you receive from a family member or friend cant be compared!!!! Nannies can watch our kids but it takes a mother and father to actually raise a child!!!!And a sperm donor will never get to know and Love a child they just donate the sperm!!!! Actually I cant speak for anyone else,However I can say my marriage has had its ups and downs but I am so happy that I myself has never had to go outside the union that me and my husband has just to search for happiness!!!Tell your friend everybody is entitled to their own opinions but his theory doesn’t work for me!!! I seriously disagree!!!

  • Goodspeed says:

    I find his views backwards…because once your married, taking care of everything else that he says you can get outside of the marriage is a full time job and then you have very little time or energy to put toward sex…but many can still find it outside the marriage…he has his family values twisted…there is no replacement for a traditional family…everything else is imitation…very possible but not the same…he doesn’t understand the difference.

  • sinned says:

    with all the cheating going on, sex certainly isn’t sacred.

  • mark t says:

    If You really think about it, everything that your friend mentioned as exsamples you can find outside a marriage including sex.
    However the quality of everything isnt nearly as rewarding.
    The love and emotional support that you recieve from friends or other family members isnt nearly as strong as that you would recieve from a spouse.because of the committment and total trust involved.You can be alot more open with a spouse than friends or family members.
    And there isnt a greater feeling in the world than haveing achild with someone you love,and nurturing that child together into adulthood.
    Sex is actually probably the easiest thing to find outside a marriage,which is why infidelity is so high in marriages today.
    However just like everything else I cant imagine it being very rewarding.
    Marriage is a union built on friendship,love trust,respect,and total love,and exceptance of each other as individuals.this forms a union of one.There isnt a better feeling in the world than knowing that the one you love will be there for you.and I think it greatly enhances all emotions and everything else in everyday life.

  • Doc8 says:

    No sex is the least important part of a real marriage. He says he can get all these things from others; so he is not working at his marriage or he would not need to get it from others.

  • greenbaypackers1920 says:

    I guess he need to get help… I don’t understand why he think sex is scary??!!

    Marriage is everything not just only sex. and If he can find any women that think sex is scary. Boom, made in Heaven you found eachother and married and end of story LOL.

  • starwars says:

    no for me u can get everything!!but the love u need is not only bout SEX, u must need the love from the heart of that person!!most of the guys, only want sex to their partner, but it is not right!! if u really love a person,u will accept who she/ he is!..that’s for me!!and sex is not the only sacred in marriage,it’s the trust and the respect to one another!!

  • David K says:

    Not only sex, but honesty, trust, and honor is sacred to a good marriage. If you don’t have all of those in your marriage as well as love and sex, the marriage will fail every time.

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