they weren’t acknowledged. They would make no difference.
Most of the time I would try not to smile just to fit in with the crowd where ever I went because though they had everything I wanted, most of them were lacking the only thing I had, the reason for my death, the root of my evil. Everyone was either coming from work late and tired or working the night shift. I wouldn’t smile much so as not to induce any ‘hatred’ or jealousy and in tougher neighbourhoods, armed robbery or plots to catch me sleeping. One could say I had nothing to smile about because I had nothing I needed on the inside, but in the world today, having money always appears and usually is a better position to be in than not having it regardless of what else one had or lacked.
I remember days stranded outside at night in possession of thousands worth of merchandise, but no raw cash to get me a place to sleep or even get me to a place to sleep or at least to my dealer. I was never one to sell stuff on the streets in such cases for small amounts just so I could get by, if I had to I would sleep in the sewers then walk through the city in the morning not giving a damn until the money was in my hand. Then, I would worry about how much I stunk and all that crap. Everything had a price, and each price to me was now like a piece of my soul, hence, I wasn’t selling for anything less.
I later came to realise that in a bid to maintain a steady flow, never addressing peaks and troughs like a money making machine, never smiling or frowning just stacking and counting, I had in fact created this lukewarm lifestyle with no substance. Everything was regulated to fit the schedule and the schedule was twenty-four hours, leaving no time for anything.