for my occupation even. I now found myself constantly ‘bitching’ about how I didn’t have friends and couldn’t thrive in public places so avoided social gatherings. I had failed to realise that I was simply just different, different in the way every individual is from the other. Every individual is unique and special in every way, even down to his source of income. The difference would ideally create a spark in each individual if his character is adhered to.
I had been shy and reserved since a kid but I had it hidden most of the time, blacked out of my memory, so much so I forgot who I was. I had just, as it were, settled for being a loser trying to win, a nobody trying to be somebody and hence I had to put in my best work.
Getting paid became the high point of my life, the only thing that would make me almost crack a smile or even at least ease up a bit.
As I grew older, I started to adopt the no questions asked policy. I had to assume that everything was exactly as it should be. That life didn’t have a formula for change or success, and that time would reveal what the future held when the time came. I had realised that half of the things I had become weren’t a result of anything I had consciously planned or executed. Through all my failures, my many many failures, I had been acquiring new insights and qualities relating to different aspects of my life. Everything that was still remained, and everything that wasn’t could still be. All I had to do was to aspire and pray, pray and wait patiently.
Of course I had nothing to spend my time doing in the unlikely event that I prayed and waited. Friends and family were to play a good part in my life at that point, but too bad I had neither. By this time I had