my social incompetence long enough things would have gotten better but too bad I didn’t. Too bad I had perceived every thing getting worse the more I tried, it was like trying to mould cold metal, I was set in my ways. The more I tried, the more I failed and the more it hurt. Too bad I was too a sore looser, a sore looser too soft to take a beating even, but not for long. The only thing positive about my character was that I could spot all those qualities and flaws and admit them shamelessly. Normally, people would try and cover them up and try more at appearing to be the toughest than actually being the toughest but not me.
At this point in my life I was working out almost every day of the week. I hit gyms all across the country as I would be in different boroughs or towns every other day of the week. I didn’t belong anywhere but I would thrive anywhere.
After a while I had built a body of confidence but nothing changed on the inside. Few ‘alpha dogs’ could see that I was built soft and had done something about it but of course no one would know what. Most would usually think I had a concealed weapon of some sort or something and though most people were shallow thinking most of the time, they could never fail to admire as they watched the under dog striving, not just striving but thriving as well. But that was only what they perceived, just the way it seemed.
When I made money one would think I could never have dreamed of having, most of the time I would have dreamed of having much more, I would still continue as though nothing had happened. I would still do as those with nothing would do. Consequently, I would do more than was necessary half of the time. I would plan for the worst of the worst, things that