may never even happen. I never had anyone to teach me or show me a way through the streets so I would analyse situations by viewing them from the extremes. I only knew three phases, top, middle and bottom. It was years before I realised where I was in the game I played, in my life, as it were. I had spent years at the bottom, now every moment was tending toward the bottom from the middle section but I was reaching for the top. It was an endless struggle, the one I intended to cut out.
Money wasn’t the root of evil anymore. ‘Big paper’ was the root of evil. During harder times when everything was slow or stood still, I would turn around and try to rekindle old flames that had been extinguished at earlier stages of the game, smaller moves that used to bring in funds back then, but those times had passed. Adopting the same methods or even more advanced methods couldn’t rekindle those flames.
It took some time for me to realise that I had in fact moved up a notch. I had in fact made it to the middle and though it was far from enough, I was starting to get the feeling nothing would ever be enough. The obsession had taken its toll, a toll that was indeed essential for my progress, but one which would be hard to be freed of, if at all it was possible.
Every ‘pay packet’ sparked an even bigger hunger for more and every hunger for more came with a passion, a passion for evil, a craving for speed and the need to slow down- another excuse for some more alcohol, cigarettes and Mary Jane, topped up with yet another happy ending massage session.
Chapter 8 Waking up each day
By this time the authorities were hot on my trail as I was spotting the very fruits of labour they would see if I was guilty of the crimes they