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religious faiths. His philosophy was open to all, and he made thousands of converts during his travels.

The largest concentration of Buddhists in the world today resides in eastern Asia. In India, Hinduism has absorbed many of Buddha’s ideas, and many Muslims believe Siddhartha is a prophet of Islam. Point being, there’s plenty of Buddha to go around . . . In fact, estimates put followers at around four hundred million, making Buddhism the sixth largest religion on the planet.

Michael Stusser: I gotta say, you are one happy fella.

Buddha: And for good reason: All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves.

MS: That explains why my back is killin’ me, huh?

B: Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace.

MS: Speaking of peace, what do you think of all the statues and key chains and T-shirts of you in hipster gift shops?

B: If they bring about spiritual enlightenment, I’m happy to be the icon for self-reflection.

MS: But did you see the Buddha tankini from Victoria’s Secret?

B: So long as it is not toilet paper, I am at peace.

[There is a long, awkward silence. Two more hours pass.]

MS: Ever hear of the band Nirvana?

B: A band of enlightened brothers?

MS: No, a hard-rock group from Seattle.

B: I have many devoted followers in Seattle.

MS: Try and make ’em give up coffee, we’ll see how

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