GUYS, I TOOK YOUR ADVISE, BUT STILL UTTERLY CONFUSED:(?

Question by Sunshine: GUYS, I TOOK YOUR ADVISE, BUT STILL UTTERLY CONFUSED:(?
Ok Guys, i took ur advise and dumped Robert. Yeah,maybe trie dto dump him. The problem is I am unable to get over it..I find myself thinking of him all the time, getting frustrated that we can no longer be together..At times, i feel like what the hell, let me just enjoy those small moments we get with each other and at times, i am like hey!this is cheating, i must stay away..what if John gets to know? I am as confused as ever and just dont know a way out…

(For those who dont know the scene, here is the first question I had asked)

Ok, this one’s going to be a long one..I am utterly confused and have no idea what to do..?
I have been with a guy for the past 8 years(..He is a Fantastic Human Being and a great boyfriend/husband.(Lets call him John) The problem starts here..Somewhere in the third year of our relationship, there was an incident that bought in huge differences between us. (Na, none of us cheated, but too personal). We sorted it out and things were fine but i could personally never overcome the distance..Life went on..We set examples for friends in terms of how our relation was progressing..On the outset, everything looked like a fairy tale..But somewhere though he was an indeal husband and an ideal person, i never found the magic..I love him a lot and cant think of a life without him. Add to it the fact that he stood by me when I needed it the most..if not for anything..i cant give up on him for atleast that one fact..Now is the twist..I met a guy at workplace, we hit it off as friends and then the expected thing happened. I found someone I could connect to.someone i could laugh with and be myself..I had not kept this guy in any darkness and he knew I was engaged…My attraction towards him(Lets call him Robert) kept growing by the day and without even realising how far I had gone, my feelings foe him overshadowed my feelings for my guy. Especially after being physical, teh feeling seems to have become all the more stronger so much so that when my guy tries to come close it becomes really traumatising for me as I cant take anyone except Robert coming close to me. I am about to be married (ritual wise) in the next couple of months and have no clue what to do..The sad part of it is I dont know what Robert feels for me..The sex is amazing, he is very caring, but would never want to commit for marriage..He always tells me he has nothing for me and it was all for sex but somewhere deep down my heart I know he loves me too and does not want to let go.. Everytime we try to break up thinking its in our best interests to seperate from each other, we can hardly stay withou talking for more than a day or two..

I am so utterly confused..Can someone tell me what to do..

GUYS NO RUDE ANSWERS OR CALLING NAMES..This is a situation nobody would want to be in..I dont even know what to call it…

Best answer:

Answer by Xo
Without insulting you–the nicest thing I can say is that it is utterly impossible to feel good in a marriage while living with secret infidelity.
That’s because you’d be living a lie.

I think at this point, you probably like Robert a lot more than your fiance but Robert does not want to get married and just wants a booty call. Essentially you are betraying your husband, and it sounds like you are looking for permission to cheat on him.

It doesn’t sound like you’re ready to get marriage and your husband is the one you should be leaving. It is impossible to be with someone because you feel like you ‘owe’ him, over time resentment will build and it will become poisonous.

So you have too choices… you either stop seeing Robert and tell John the truth… Or you leave John and don’t get married–but you can’t have both, just keep in mind that cheating or not you are still dealing with two human beings with real emotions. That’s why you recieve insults and rude answers–because you’re playing them both and toying with their feelings for your own selfish sake of guiltless conscience and attention

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