Question by Derrec: Help me edit my college application essay for grammar, etc? Comments please ;D?
Edinger’s Mental Apocalypse is the most humorous image that can be used to describe college applications. I’m listening to Ray Charles sing the blues as I stress and rattle my brain for quips, witty remarks, astute juxtapositions of metaphysical conceit, anything that would even remotely begin to remove the repugnant ramblings reoccurring rampantly in my recondite reflection of life. I realize ever more readily the ineptitude of stress borne writing. Donne could recreate love in a compass overnight, but given a month, the greatest metaphor I have birthed is equivalent to “college is a gateway.” The imperfection of it all astounds me; even more so, the fact that I cling to this gabbing rant of a frustrated teen in hopes of finding something salvageable. Entropy is not ordered, it is a law of nature.
Nature, however, is not without cause; all actions have a purpose. Had I not attempted such a feat as swimming a lake, and nearly drowning—nearly taking a yacht to the head—I could not have learned the importance of perseverance; had I not confronted fears of the stage, fears of standing before hundreds, fears of simple interactions, and faltered, I could not have realized potential. Failure, as I have it, has been the most constructive, stabilizing aspect of my life. (That isn’t to say I have not had successes. God knows I must have done something right if I have made it this far.) Yet it is failure that has seen me through.
Without risk of failure, there can be no glory at all. –Anonymous
Had it not been for failure I never would have passed the finish line in the hardest race of my life, elated with runner’s high; had it not been for failure I could never rise to occasion, defeating the opposing counsel in a heated mock trial case. The deathly connotation of failure is a misnomer in our society, for it is failure that defines how we succeed, that leads us to strive for success; failure merely makes one try harder the next time.
Either we fail, or we redefine success.
Success, interestingly, is often the crux of failure. Impending and received laurels lead one to believe we no longer must try, that success is the final destination, and nothing lies further. Rather than a series of stepping stones, we often view a success as an end to a trial—instead, one quote characterizes my belief:
To freely bloom – that is my definition of success. – Gerry Spence
Where greater a place is there to bloom than among likeminded individuals—where other than a university.
Particular attention to this sentence please:
The imperfection of it all astounds me; even more so, the fact that I cling to this gabbing rant of a frustrated teen in hopes of finding something salvageable.
I’m not sure if its correct.
Thank you very much. That’s what I was worried about.
Especially the thought that I it seems I’m throwing words in, because, sadly, I never used a thesaurus, etc for the essay, it’s just how I write.
The worry is that I can’t explain that to an admissions officer. :Y But writing unlike myself is too hard. LOL
Best answer:
Answer by Muse – Viktor’s Mommy
The first quote you have is kind of awkwardly placed and doesn’t flow well. I also personally dislike the use of hyphens for parenthetical expressions, but that can just be an issue of a difference in styles. Other than that, it was interesting and written rather nicely, even though it did seem like you were trying to throw in a lot of words just because they look impressive.
The sentence you specifically asked about, though, isn’t correct. The part after the semi colon isn’t a complete thought. You’d need to reiterate that your “gabbing rant of a frustrated teen . . . ” astounds you (if you choose to keep it all as one sentence).
Edit: Hey, if it’s how you write, then that’s very good. It shows your very familiar with the English language. I just wasn’t sure if it was your brain writing that way or the thesarus. Now, I know. 🙂
Add your own answer in the comments!
Help me edit my college application essay for grammar, etc? Comments please ;D?
Question by Derrec: Help me edit my college application essay for grammar, etc? Comments please ;D?
Edinger’s Mental Apocalypse is the most humorous image that can be used to describe college applications. I’m listening to Ray Charles sing the blues as I stress and rattle my brain for quips, witty remarks, astute juxtapositions of metaphysical conceit, anything that would even remotely begin to remove the repugnant ramblings reoccurring rampantly in my recondite reflection of life. I realize ever more readily the ineptitude of stress borne writing. Donne could recreate love in a compass overnight, but given a month, the greatest metaphor I have birthed is equivalent to “college is a gateway.” The imperfection of it all astounds me; even more so, the fact that I cling to this gabbing rant of a frustrated teen in hopes of finding something salvageable. Entropy is not ordered, it is a law of nature.
Nature, however, is not without cause; all actions have a purpose. Had I not attempted such a feat as swimming a lake, and nearly drowning—nearly taking a yacht to the head—I could not have learned the importance of perseverance; had I not confronted fears of the stage, fears of standing before hundreds, fears of simple interactions, and faltered, I could not have realized potential. Failure, as I have it, has been the most constructive, stabilizing aspect of my life. (That isn’t to say I have not had successes. God knows I must have done something right if I have made it this far.) Yet it is failure that has seen me through.
Without risk of failure, there can be no glory at all. –Anonymous
Had it not been for failure I never would have passed the finish line in the hardest race of my life, elated with runner’s high; had it not been for failure I could never rise to occasion, defeating the opposing counsel in a heated mock trial case. The deathly connotation of failure is a misnomer in our society, for it is failure that defines how we succeed, that leads us to strive for success; failure merely makes one try harder the next time.
Either we fail, or we redefine success.
Success, interestingly, is often the crux of failure. Impending and received laurels lead one to believe we no longer must try, that success is the final destination, and nothing lies further. Rather than a series of stepping stones, we often view a success as an end to a trial—instead, one quote characterizes my belief:
To freely bloom – that is my definition of success. – Gerry Spence
Where greater a place is there to bloom than among likeminded individuals—where other than a university.
Particular attention to this sentence please:
The imperfection of it all astounds me; even more so, the fact that I cling to this gabbing rant of a frustrated teen in hopes of finding something salvageable.
I’m not sure if its correct.
Thank you very much. That’s what I was worried about.
Especially the thought that I it seems I’m throwing words in, because, sadly, I never used a thesaurus, etc for the essay, it’s just how I write.
The worry is that I can’t explain that to an admissions officer. :Y But writing unlike myself is too hard. LOL
Best answer:
Answer by Muse – Viktor’s Mommy
The first quote you have is kind of awkwardly placed and doesn’t flow well. I also personally dislike the use of hyphens for parenthetical expressions, but that can just be an issue of a difference in styles. Other than that, it was interesting and written rather nicely, even though it did seem like you were trying to throw in a lot of words just because they look impressive.
The sentence you specifically asked about, though, isn’t correct. The part after the semi colon isn’t a complete thought. You’d need to reiterate that your “gabbing rant of a frustrated teen . . . ” astounds you (if you choose to keep it all as one sentence).
Edit: Hey, if it’s how you write, then that’s very good. It shows your very familiar with the English language. I just wasn’t sure if it was your brain writing that way or the thesarus. Now, I know. 🙂
Add your own answer in the comments!