Question by Terry: How do you know if your an Urban Pagan? (Friday night funnies)?
I appreciate all additions to the list as you are answering the question. Now, here’s some parameters for an urban Pagan so you can judge whether you are, or not.
1. If your incense sets off your smoke alarm.
2. If the Punk band renting downstairs complains about your drumming.
3. If you glance at open trashcans for thrown away Ouija boards you can recycle.
4. If your alter base flushes at weird and uncomfortable moments.
5. If your familiar leaves rats, cockroaches, and an occaisonal pigeon or canary on the alter.
6. If the little old lady in the park with all the pins and necklaces with crosses on them, stares at your belly button when you say Howdy.
7. If the old guy next door that sits out on his stoop asks you if your summoning the devil, when you’re chalking a hop-scotch pattern.
8. If your sacred tree is a six inch Bonsai.
9. If someone asks you if you’ve “been saved” at least twice a week.
10. If someone on the bus sees you reading “Spiral Dance” and says,”Is that something like Line Dancing?”
11. If you’re addicted to the Bingo games at the Catholic church three blocks away, but you’ve been warned if you bingo too much you’ll be banned.
12. IF the recycling guy won’t take your glasses unless the candles are burned all the way down.
13. If you decided to go skyclad on the roof for some midsummer rituals and caused a near catastrophe amongst 3 police and 7 television helicopters.
14. If you see a cockroach crossing your Altar, and whack it mightily by instinct, before you can even think ans it turns out to be the reincarnated mother of your ex spouse.
Best answer:
Answer by child of atlantis
I wouldn’t know one iota about being an urban pagan and won’t dare try this one, since I’m just a country bumpkin. (Especially since I bombed out last time even though I have a red neck from working in my gardens day after day.) However, I am looking forward to reading the responses.
What do you think? Answer below!
You know you’re an urban pagan if the only tree anywhere near your apartment is the one planted into the sidewalk that folks use to let their dogs use as a toilet!
You know you’re an urban pagan when you see someone else wearing a pentacle, and you say “Blessed Be!” and they stare at you with a blank expression and say: “huh?”
You know you’re an urban pagan when you call the element of air and choke on the smog!
“If your scared a tree is a six inch Bonsai” Lol ??
Lmao at number 11.
15. If your home smells like potions and you’re friends always ask “What the …. are you drinking??”
you do a drumming session and your neigbour asks you to join their band.
birds from all over town use your scrying bowl as a birdbath.
Ahahahaha.
Whenever I light sage to smudge my apartment, the neighbors walking past my door say they think I’m smoking weed.