Question by J******: I had sex with my husband on the first date, now he thinks I’m more experienced than I am.?
I usually don’t sleep with guys on the first date, but things were different with my husband. We talked on the phone for hours everyday for about a month before our first date. Even before we actually went out I felt he was the one.
Excuse the details, but they are important. On our first date it was magical. There was sexual tension from the start and he handled it very respectful. After dinner when the kissing started to become heavy, he stopped and thought of an activity that would get us out the house. He took me to play pool. We did that all night and by the time we got back it was late & it was a hour drive to my house. He offered me his bed, and he was going to sleep in the guest room. I was comfortable with laying in the same bed as him, so we did but there was no sex.
The next morning he had to wake up early and go to a meeting, but we both didn’t want to leave…that’s when we had sex. From that moment on I gave myself to him WHENEVER he wanted me. The opportune word is “gave myself”.
We got married 4 months later and have been married for 2 1/2 years. He now expects me to be this sexual vixen that I am not. He wants me to be wild & initiate sex, wear lingerie, and figure out all these new things to do, which is just not me. I’ve let him know that he can have me whenever he wants to, but that isn’t good enough for him.
I think that because I slept with him on the first date that he thought I was easy, and I do that with everyone. Now he’s expecting me to be something I’m not. I’m not a tramp, but how do I get him to realize that?
Best answer:
Answer by Big J v 4
He isn’t expecting you to be a tramp, he just wants you to do more than lie there like a dead fish.
What you are asking and the detail you are giving is also painting 2 very different pictures. You say he wants you to be wild, dress up, be sexy.
You say uo just give yourself to him. Like when ever he wants sex, you just spread your legs and let him go to town.
He doesn’t want that, he wants you to want it.
Add your own answer in the comments!
he married you thinking you were always there for sex..and although he thinks you two are made for each other sexually…you feel different.
Its better to let him know this now before the frustration mounts
i don’t think he thinks your a tramp. If he did, why would he have married you? have him try to think of a few new things
Being wild, initiating sex and wearing lingerie doesn’t make you a tramp. You can be adventurous in the sack and still be a “lady”. He’s trying to encourage you to have a more exciting sexlife, I honestly don’t understand why you’d resist that. Having sexual confidence is a HUGE boost to a relationship, at least try it before you knock it. You just might enjoy the hell out of yourself.
He wants to liven things up a bit, thats better than looking elsewhere, if you ask me. Letting him “have me whenever he wants” is all a bit passive isnt it, he would probably like you to initiate things and make him feel wanted and desired. Men like to be desired and have the woman do the work sometimes too. Thats not at all the same thing as being a tramp.
Unfortunately you handled everything much to quickly so I cant say as I blame him for thinking the same thing. Most women would NEVER sleep with a man on the first date no matter how much they felt for them; its just sending the wrong message. Well now he got a message and thinks all this about you. You two were only together for four months before marriage so he doesnt have much to go on. So basically you made your bed so you have to lie in it.
No I think he just wants to spice up your sex life after 2 1/2 years of marriage. You should try and be open with him in the bedroom and try new things. He doesn’t think your a tramp, just wants to have lots of fun with his wife. Better that then him looking somewhere else for it
It has nothing to do with sleeping with him on the first date. You’ve been married 2 1/2 years, he’s very comfortable with you and expects that you have grown just as comfortable with him. Also, people’s sexual appetites change and grow.
My husband’s desires have change quite dramatically since we’ve been together. In many cases, what he wants from me now doesn’t come close to who I am. I have tried to accommodate when I could…it’s not always easy to stretch yourself but it’s worth a shot. You might get some recognition for your trouble, you might enjoy yourself, who knows.
Maybe he is just hoping to take the romantic part of your relationship to a higher level. Just because you are not a certain way doesn’t mean you cannot pretend to be sometimes. Who knows? It might be fun.
this is what we do in our home and it has worked for us so far ( 3 years )
we usually tend to set one night a week out usually on a weekend since I work full time to have what I call CIRCUS SEX I play the TRAMP as you might call it but as long as he is getting it then it shouldn’t matter…..
what?/ how is ‘spicing’ it up make you a tramp?? here is an idea, dont just give it up when ever he wants it… instead when he isn’t expecting it do some sexy shiznet … learn some new tricks, dress up like a school girl or something…
damn way u make it sound is u just get on ur back and spread them legs w/ this face : I
wtf damn you dont gotta be ”a tramp” damn i dont even think he cares if you do anything to ”freaky” i think he just wants to know you want it too, less GOOD SEX is better then more LAME SEX…
That’s not what this is about. What it’s about is that he loves great sex, and you’ve grown “tame”.
You’re just not into it anymore. That will be HARD for him to understand. REAL hard. Until he gets there himself.
You just got to say “hey, I’m at a different time in my life. Sex is a little different for me. I still love it and want it, but in a different way”
If you are lucky (ha!) he’ll understand this and you can begin re-establishing your sexual relationship from a fresh start.
Good luck, and stay patient!