Question by Gin Q: Is a condom good enough when having sex?
Hi, I am female and a virgin over 21..I am thinking about having sex with my friend but I am afraid of getting pregnant. He says it’s not as easy to get a woman pregnant as society would have us believe but it’s hard to just go on his opinion cause pregnancy is riding on it. I do not take birth control and I would prefer not to right now….He is my friend and he likes me and I feel tired of waiting for some magic moment he says does not exist. I just want to have sex for once and enjoy it and not be afraid or feel slutty cause seems like society and parents teach us to view iot that way and fear it….any advice would be helpful and also anyone who has used condoms as the only method and do they have to have spermicide? I just ended my period a day ago (am I still ovulating?) I am not the most knowledgeable person in these things and that is why I am looking for practical advice from real people who have been there. Is sex something magical or will I only be let down if I am waiting for some special moment or for it to be great? I have heard it can be painful first time. Also it seems like people act like almost anything can get you pregnant like getting a little sperm on my hand and I’m afraid I can’t just relax and enjoy the feeling when I am worried about everything I do. Please help! I am sure I will get plenty who say abstinence is the only way but some of you must understand how it feels to go on and on and never have sex and just want to feel that for once and relax and I’m tired of feeling it’s wrong or something…..I’m not running out to have sex with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. I just want to have sex with a good friend who cares about me and likes me that way and I may not feel exactly the same but I feel ready to finally have sex and I am so tired of making it a huge and scary thing that if you don’t do with someone you love a certain way it is a sin or you are a slut. Well, thanks for reading and please, if you only have insults….save them for someone else cause it’s a waste of time. Take care everyone! and thanks in advance….
Best answer:
Answer by NyNy
well the only way to get pregnant is if you have sex without a condum lols , but yeah it did hurt for me the first time i had sex & then it bleeded a lil afterwards but its no biggie (= it feels so much better without a condum trust me on that , but if you dont want a baby use a condum & i wish i have waited as long as you had . Goodluck & btw your not a slutt you jus want to feel pleasure & if you get any hate comments just ignore it .
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i got my girlfriend pregnant and i was wearing 3 condoms plus she was on birth control. i didn’t feel a thing but after about 2 hours i ejaculated and apparently the 3 condoms didn’t help nor did the pill.
Hi,
Firstly, wow, you really are worried! Ok where do I start.
I think your first problem is that you are relying on what this guy tells you way too much. It is as easy as society suggests to get pregnant. He will be telling you this to pursuade you to sleep with him. However all birth control will help. No birth control is 100% effective, condoms, pills, implants etc are all 97-99% effective.
I personally have only had the magic moment once and that was the night of my wedding with my husband. Purely because it had been such a special day and we were finally away from the kids lol. Usually it doesn’t exist. The most important thing is to be 100% sure that the guy means a lot to you and you care about him. If you sleep with a friend because you are fed up of being a virgin, you will regret it. Everyone remembers their first time.
Condoms do have spermicide in but as I said, they are only 97-99% effective, the box will tell you that! If you really are that worried about getting pregnant try doubling contraception, like using a condom and the pill.
It can hurt a bit the first time but it’s worth it, after it just gets better.
Sperm on the hand is unlikely to get you pregnant but it is true that you dont need penatrative sex to get pregnant. It can happen through foreplay too if any seamen gets to where it wants to. It’s just not as likely as penatrative sex.
If you have just come off your period you will not be ovulating yet. On a normal 28 day cycle you ovulate 14 days after the start of your period. However, ovulation is only the most common time to get pregnant as your chances are higher. It is actually possible to get pregnant at any time during your cycle.
My biggest advice I can give you though hun is that if you don’t feel that this guy is that special to you, hold on until someone does. Sex is SO much better when it’s with someone special. TRUST ME!! lol
Good luck with what ever you decide 🙂
You decrease your chance to get pregnant with a condom; but, the condom can always break and there is no way to tell it broke until he pulls out. I have so much more respect for people who wait until they are married. It is the best gift you could give your husband. I really wish I had waited. I don’t care what people say. Sex does change a relationship two people have. Especially friends. Just be really careful. Sex for girls is so in depth and personal. It means a lot to most girls. Guys..gees. For them its just whatever. They don’t understand and it is how a lot of girls get hurt. Especially when they do it the first time and think the guy will treat them well and call and be nice. Won’t happen 9 times outta 10. The best advice I could give you would be to wait. Believe me it soooooo worth waiting.
Well hun I wish I can guarantee that condoms are 100% but unfortunately they are not. I am not saying that your friend has an STD but that should also be your concern besides pregnancy because an STI (sexually transmitted infection) like herpes can be transferred even if you have a condom on via skin to skin contact. Excuse my language but his testicles are still exposed and will come in contact with your vagina which puts you at risk for contracting an STI. And it also affects you later on in life because you won’t be able to have unprotected sex without putting your future partner at risk or even during child birth you risk your childs life. I would suggest getting him tested just to be on the safe side. There are condoms with spermicide usually trojans and it states it on the box.
I def understand your frustration I was in your situation a few years ago when I was 19 I decided to loose my virginity but it was my choice and I did not regret it because I was in control. The experience itself is over rated but what makes it special is not feeling dirty afterwards or having the feeling of regret. The main reason I did not feel bad about it is because I lost it to my high school sweet heart. So, lets look at it this way why did you save your self for 21 yrs to just loose it to your friend who I am sure is a good friend but is not your boyfriend. I am not saying not to do it but wouldn’t you rather loose it to someone who you are romatically attracted to. The fact that you are not in love with him will actually make your first time very dull. In regards to society it is to judgemental so don’t worry about what people have to say but just know that there are risk and consequences to everything. Think about the fact that you might loose a good friend if you sleep with him. Friends witn benfits usually end up in arguments and fights because there are confusions in regards to what the relationship really is. If you are going to have sex use a latex condom and to ease your mind go to the drug store and pick up the morning after pill it is called Plan B. Take it the next day and it will prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Just remember that the morning after pill is not a form of birth control so it can not be used daily. All I know is that if you have this much anxiety about having sex the best solution is not to go through with it cuz usually that is the reason why people end up regreting it. If you have any questions in regards to anything let me know and will be more than happy to help. Good luck with everything. Take care
Hello my name is Jackie and I think you are worried too much
but it’s normal since it’s something you have never done before.
Well I am happily married and I do not want kids.
I do not go on birth control because of the hormone
inbalance it causes women witch isn’t good for anyone,
plus some of them make you gain weight.
Some couples have found it difficult for the women to
get pregnant-True. There are some couples that have
tried and tried having kids but sometimes its
not the right timing and so on and so forth
but this does not apply to every woman
some of us are very fertile.
So like I said I am very anti children right now
I am only 21 but I am married and we have been partners
for 4 years although I’ve known him for 8 years.
I’ve had many other boyfriends before marriage and I lost
my virginity at 15 I had never used anything but condoms
never been pregnant or caught an STD.
My sister, my cousin and my best friend apparently didn’t believe in
condoms and went on birth control, they gained weight, got moody,
and even got pregnant, so I have very little faith in those pills.
My sister was 20 (but married already) My cousin was 18 and had
to get married and my best friend was 16 and still not married but living with the babys daddy. My husband and I use but one method of contraception and that would be Condoms.
ALL kinds of Condoms mostly we like the xtra thin ones
and they are just as good. From my personal experience I will honestly
tell you that you will be fine with a condom just make sure it’s a trusty
brand like Lifestyles, I wouldn’t recommend trojan because I don’t
like how they smell too rubbery but you might like them.
My personal favorites are Caution Wear and we order them online.
I also feel that you should totally try this with your trusty friend 🙂
you sound ready and sure of yourself.
As for a magic moment? lol yea.
We run into a few my husband and I everynow and then
but that’s when we get really high or drunk on somthing
and end up having crazy sex.
I’m pretty sure it’s going to hurt a bit the first time but nothing your
body wont be able to handle, it gets better afterwards and not every woman bleeds specially in this era some women don’t.
I barely bled so I wouldn’t call it bleeding cuz it was just pink
when I wiped myself after peeing kinda like when your spotting
after your period. Sperm are very sensitive to temperature and moisture and will eventually die outside the body, getting it on your hand or mouth is not a WARNING & getting it anywhere near the vagina has never gotten me pregnant although I wouldn’t recommend that! The one thing I do fear is a cum shot while penetrating with out
a condom now thats scary!
What else….Hmmn I think I covered it but if you
have any other Q’s I would like you to know that
you are more than welcomed to contact me
I wouldn’t mind sharing with you what I know.
With that said I wish you the best in this life and a happy moment
with the chozen one. Who knows! maybe it will be magical moment one can never be too sure.
***ADITION***
bomj6969 has been leaving BULL S H I T
answers all willy nilly everywhere just so
you know so please don’t trust his tripple condom lie.
***MORE ADITION***
I just remembered that I got the morning after pill
for free at planned parent hood witch is an option for you
right after sex you can check if the condom is fine and if it just so happens to rip wich has never EVER happened to me
you can just take the pill…..Just go get it so you can have it
there for safety. I always have it here but never taken it.