My wife isn’t talking to me because I don’t believe in magic?

Question by Moonstrider: My wife isn’t talking to me because I don’t believe in magic?
Greetings,

The silliest fight my wife and have ever had (for me at least).

First let me explain what led to our discussion (fight) yesterday. About a month ago there was a big talk about a 17 years old boy who ran away to Indonesia with the housemaid working in his family’s house. Two weeks later the boy returned home with help from authorities, (this happened in the same town my wife came from). The father claimed that the maid used black magic on his son which made him unaware about his actions because the maid wasn’t happy with the family specially the boy. They showed some pieces of papers with strange symbols on them claiming that this might be the magic used by the maid.

Sounds silly but the case drew a lot of attention as some newspapers spread the news all over the country and even some surrounding countries, it went went so far to the point that went to court demanding Indonesia to hand over the maid to be trialed for witchcraft (believe it or not its a death penalty in my country). One Indonesian official said that they investigated with the maid and she confessed having a sexual relationship with the boy and when the father knew about it he decided to send her back to her country and the boy decided to run away with her.

Well back to last night… She opened up the subject and I told her what the Indonesian officials said, she was upset and told me that there is proof of magic use and that the boy is well known in the town and the father clearly said that the boy hated the maid. I said well there are two versions of the story… One that says that the maid used black magic on the boy and took him with her to Indonesia although the hated her if the father was telling the truth…. Or the boy might have had a sexual relationship with her and when the father decided to send her away he decided to go with her. ….

I told her that I find the relationship story more logical. Then she burst into anger denouncing my lack of belief in magic and religion. Saying that since we are married we both should be on the same belief system. I said well if I’m not convinced in something I simply won’t believe in it, then she said no you should believe.

I tried to convince her that no one have the right to force me to believe something I’m not convinced of but she believe otherwise.

Well we reached a point when i told her to shut up as her nagging was too much for me to handle.

She didn’t talk to me. She even stayed up all night until I was prepared to go to work then she went to sleep.

She is always trying to force me to be the way she wants. I believe that she has this version of what a man should be and she wants me to be that way although I’m not like that. She always talk to me about how her brothers do whatever their wives tell them to do without questioning, to the point that her brother actually hurt even their mother (emotionally) a thing they never done before they got married. She seems to know that its wrong, but she wants to have the power that her brothers’ wives have, she didn’t say that but whenever their wives “seem” to made their husbands do something wrong she brags in front of everyone that she will never think that way. Which tells me that she actually would love to have this power and she believe that she will not have the “evils” that she see in them.

She is saddened by the fact that I’m not the man she wants, well she is not exactly the woman of my dreams but I love her the way she is with her faults and errors, I see the good in her and I love her the way she is, I never tried to force her on something, when we disagree on something I do try to convince her but when she isn’t convinced I stop and accept the fact that there is a difference on that point. I wish she does the same, I tried to convince her about that but she wouldn’t accept. Which is a problem when disagreements as silly as the one last night can will allow anger, pain, tear and sadness in our lives.

What can I do about this?

Best answer:

Answer by priv828
Your wife is way out of line.

Part of marriage is respecting each others differences and opinions. If you not believing in magic was such a deal breaker for her..she should of asked about that belief before marriage.

I personally think she is being disrespectful, childish and manipulative. You should not disrespect her belief, even if you don’t agree….but you should not change your beliefs to please her.

I wouldn’t be rude to her but I would not grovel nor apologize over this one. Ignore her tantrums and let her come to you when she is over it. Tell her to be mature and learn to agree to disagree.

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