Question by Citizen Of The Cosmos: Pagans, when did you declare yourself a Pagan in your own mind?
What sealed your decision, and how long did it take from the time the idea first entered your mind for you to make a decision?
Best answer:
Answer by eiere
Probably a slow evolution over a period of three years or so before I fully recognized that my beliefs and practice were pagan.
Give your answer to this question below!
19 years of study. While I finished my doctorate and two degrees. It comes naturally to me.
Proud Pagan
I was 18 and had had an undeniable experience with Hecate. From then on my path was in front of me… I just tried to step off of it (unsuccessfully) because of a emotionally abusive person that I was in a relationship with telling me that I “couldn’t be Pagan” because I didn’t act like any Pagan they knew……
Even though I tried to go back to Christianity, I realized that I had not been happy there since I was a child…..
From the time it took me to read a book: “When God Was a Woman” and I realized what I had been missing in my life – the duality of male and female. By the end of the book (about four days) I knew I had to find others that believed what I had found. I did.
What sealed the decision was finding what I had been seeking after leaving Christianity, what I had been missing. A sense of belonging, thoughts and codes of honor that matched mine and deities that challenge, inspire and sometimes frustrate me.
There’s a common phrase in paganism describing how one feels when they find the gods/goddesses: Like coming home.
I entered the city and found a living culture, impersonal and mysterious, just as I had found God to be. Stuff started happening right off the bat, and I got used to the irony and suspicion and the awkward and stylish. I committed myself to a year’s time of coming in and going out. I had NO questions to ask of God, but God had questions for me; many questions. I felt rushed and harried. Suddenly, I was a convert, a legend I would meet and a legend I would become.
I came very close to reaching heaven and just as close to hell. I found the challenges that gave me favor. I left the city in an armored car, shipped to a haven and dumped unceremoniously in New Jersey. As a Pagan I will never be a Pagan because I’m not willing to submit to another impersonal moniker.
Oh, and time is not a factor. Time moves forward and time moves back.
My beliefs have always been towards the Pagan side of things. I believe in things that a lot of people would think crazy. So really none of the other religions fit. Actually I don’t even call myself religious as none of them felt right. So I consider myself pagan because nothing else fits.
I guess I finally claimed it in my early 20’s. It took so long because I didn’t know it was a choice.
During my childhood days, I was forced to go to a Christian church. I was taught in their beliefs but yet I was never baptised. I got bored with one way of thinking (the church) so I began ‘dabling’ in other thoughts of christianity…. southern baptist, catcholic, methodist, presbyterian, pentacostal holiness….. pretty much went to at least one service of every branch of christianity except for mormon and jehovahs witness’. My work schedules pulled me away from my church services and then because of that I was basically condemned to hell because I wasnt going to church every sunday to “repent for my sins” etc etc etc. Then my dad died and thats what sealed the deal for me; I lost my faith in god and then I ventured on to my own path.
Whats really ironic is when I was little I would stand out on my grandparents front porch (they lived in a cul-de-sac which had a good echo reverb to it) and I would sing chants to the wind… calling the winds, the birds, the sun, the clouds… you name it.
**back to now**
I met my boyfriend last year. He is full blown pagan/polytheistic. He is a HPS in Gardenarian Wicca, a Babalawo in Santeria as well as a few other things. What I have learned of being Pagan I have learned from him. He surely has opened my eyes to a whole new world of believing as well as knowing. Im sure I would have stumbled upon my path for certain but he made it easier to find.
I dont have a specific path yet so I guess you can call me eclectic. Im more of a kitchen witch and herbalist than anything, but I still work in circles 😉 and am learning more and more every day.
I was an athiest most of my life, then was called by
the Goddess to serve Her. After much examination
and questioning I decided to accept the honor and
dedicate my life to serving Her and helping others.
The whole story is on my website, in the section
called “the modern revival”.
Many Blessings,
Jean
November 2001… I dedicated myself to 1 year and 1 day of the study of Wicca, so this is the date I use. I’ve been pagan since.
I was actualy raised with Wiccan beliefs, my mother, grandmother, great gramma, and so on where Wiccan, all solitaries, and I practice as a solitary. I am 31 now so for all of my life, it what I know and what I follow and what I know to be right for me.
5th generation Wiccan and so very proud of it!
My cats Midnight (black cat) and Tigger ( grey/white striped) wear little charms on their collars….. not because I felt they were choosen.. but becuase they were th only ones that didn’t try to eat them! :p
It was the night Artemis taught me to dance and claimed me as Hers. I had been studying for a couple years before then, but that’s what sealed the deal, so to speak. There’s a longer description at http://therioshamanism.com/2008/02/09/metamorphosis/ if you’re interested in the whole story.