point of using your imagination to put yourself down anyway? Self-flagellation won’t alter his view; it will only switch your libido off. Instead therapists like Dr Eve recommend using your imagination to think yourself into a state where you start feeling sexy and desirable.
Along with learning about sex, we also need to unlearn the fables that led us down the garden path to inhibition and frustration. Sex is not a stage performance; it is the most natural act of all. So instead of nattering to friends, who you may be unlikely to wish to bed, how about starting to have conversations with the partners in whose hands our sexual satisfaction lies?
Stephanie Vermeulen runs seminars on Applied Emotional Intelligence and Women’s Issues in business and public forums as well as being an inspiring speaker, writer and personal coach. Her books, ‘Kill the Princess: Why Women Still Aren’t Free from the Quest for a Fairytale Life'(USA) / ‘Stitched-up: Who Fashions Women’s Lives?’ (South Africa) & ‘EQ: Emotional Intelligence for Everyone’ are available from leading bookstores and online from Amazon.com and Kalahari.net. She can be contacted via her website http://www.eqsa.co.za.