the guys who have “too much confidence” and act like a bit of an A- hole (maybe to everyone BUT him). How does that guy get coached out of that behavior (especially if he isn’t aware of it)?
Guys who seemingly have too much confidence are more arrogant than confident. You’ll see these guys standing near the bar showing off their muscles/watch/bling, sunglasses on, not smiling. I call this “too cool for school”. Guys with this issue don’t get NEARLY as much attention as they’d like, and are often bitter about it. They seem like jerks, but are really scared to open up to people because they’re afraid they won’t be accepted. If you try to talk to them, you’ll find initial resistance but soon after they’ll be very, very happy to engage you in conversation. Being ‘too cool for school’ is awkward and painful. Trust me, I was this way before I started learning this social dynamics skillset and it was miserable!
The trick to getting out of this is to realize that people will only find you interesting if you’re interested in them first. As above, start talking to everyone and slowly allow yourself to open up to them. This is a slower process than most, because it requires that the client eventually internalize that they are interesting/fun/cool enough to be accepted and liked by others. This happens through positive feedback. In other words, it happens when they man-up, try being more open with others, and are rewarded with attention, friendship or affection from the people they open up to. We do a LOT of this at The Art of Charm during our workshops.
6. I understand that you do actual “in field” training. How does that go down and could you give us some real life stories?
In-field training is