accustomed to using or demonstrating. But, instead of it being used to your own advantage in artistic expression, it has become the source of irritation. You use it as an avoidance to get close. How strange it is that even though you like to be the life of the party, an awesome price is exacted in the coins of disinterested energy expressed, has weaseled its way into your front door. So, with the entrance of your uninvited guest, comes phoniness! You tend to not know how or when enough is enough. You keep pushing. Having problems with sleeping and relaxing, you go and go and go until you literally drop. Why? Because, you are trying to run from you; it doesn’t work.
When is the last time you allowed yourself a truly indulgent delicious meal? [Without discounting it or tabulating the calorie content} Life is not strictly about how much you can modify it, reduce it, or schedule it into your ‘border patrol’ of consciousness. Man is innately endowed with desire. Pleasure rules. Passion dictates. When you try to sublimate these desires, your world goes to the vultures. Everything becomes distorted and crippled. It’s plain stupidity to try to conceal your actions under the guise of something else. You are what you are. You want what you want. You do what you do. You act as you act. You follow your instinct. Who are you kidding?
Your personal burdens and responsibilities are sacred and you are not accustomed to shirking them. At times, you tend to feel guilty, however, to the point of staled uninspired emotion paralyzing you. It would prove beneficial if you would learn to remember why you are doing what you are doing at any given minute. Stop with the idea that something is going to come from all of this.