making it work. I will give you a doctrine, a set of rules if you will, to be used to make your new hardcore gym the utopia any true muscle-head dreams of. This doctrine will be the gospel on which your gym should be based. It will consist of a number of rules and guidelines. It will be easy to implement, understand, and follow.
The doctrine is as follows:
1. If you’re a sweaty bastard, bring a towel! The last thing anyone wants to sit in is a puddle of sweat mixed with hair gel and god-knows-what when he or she uses a piece of equipment.
2. Anyone who walks in front of someone working out in front of a mirror shall be forced to workout in a room with no mirrors. The only things covering the walls will be naked pictures of Bea Arthur.
3. No reading books, magazines, or newspapers while working out. You want to read? Go to a Starbucks or the library.
4. No cell phones. The only thing more annoying than hearing someone on their phone in a movie theater is listening to someone talk about the latest American Idol episode while you’re trying to maximize your burn.
5. Attire:
•If you’re a guy – no spandex without shorts over them. Please no one wants to see what you’re packing down there or know your religion.–
•Work boots and flannels are only appropriate if you weigh over 200 pounds.
6. No air conditioning how the hell do you know if you’re getting a good workout unless you sweat? Fans were good enough for Charles Atlas; they’re good enough for you.–
7. Music – no station with the word