ADDers.
As adults, many ADDers have to work very hard to interact effectively in social and work situations. The development of social skills is more an art than a science because we must learn to read the ever-changing reactions of others. If deficient selective attention interferes with paying attention to social cues in order to listen and respond empathically, the ADDer may feel extremely ill at ease. How much easier to go to a chat room to enter into an eroticized communication where sexuality can be used as a surrogate for real social interactions.
Shame
Many ADD children grew up in families in which put-downs, disapproval, personal attacks and threats of abandonment were commonplace events. Punishment and frustration from teachers and taunts from peer groups added to a sense of worthlessness. As an adult, the ADD child judges himself mercilessly and often tries to be perfect in a desperate attempt to shield his shame. He feels deeply ashamed of being “different” due to ADD as well as of being a sexual compulsive – a “deviant”, if he becomes one. Chronic, relentless shame is devastating. Mired in feelings of worthlessness, defectiveness and despair, he is full of doubt about his very validity. Shame and sex addiction are natural partners. The more intense the pain of self-hatred, the stronger the drive to find a sexual behavior that offers relief from internal pain and emptiness. For the sex addict, the answer to his inner problems lay outside himself in the “magic” of sexual desire, for or from, another. He confuses sexual desirability with self-acceptance. He is trying to fill the void that has been at least partially created by shame. He simply cannot bear feeling empty inside.
ADD temper problems