years. Being a good organizer, I have also been asked to serve on the executive of a number of organizations throughout my life and that meant being in front of the group as their representative. You wouldn’t believe the number of times one or more of these what ifs in my bucket broadsided me with feelings of humiliation or failure. But even after feeling broadsided, something within me was driving me to get back up on stage and do it again.
So I started to take a closer look at my bucket of what ifs. Avoidance sure wasn’t working. Where did all this stuff come from anyway? And what is it within me that kept making me get up to do this over and over again? After a few years of observing myself and stirring up this bucket, I ended up staring at a bunch of negative thoughts that had been repeated so many times in my mind I was actually believing what they were telling me. So the next question I asked was: Is all this stuff really true?
I also recognized that the inner drive sending me back up on stage over and over was my spiritual essence giving me a kick in the butt. Ok, so I am a slow learner. Getting back up on stage kept the big fears right in my face. When I quit kicking and screaming and decided to face the fear with the intent of understanding its source, I was amazed at the crazy logic behind the fear. How could I have even considered that some of this drivel I was thinking was actually true?
Choosing to take responsibility for your thinking is a huge step towards integrity. As you change your mind, you change your life and begin to live with higher purpose. It certainly gave me a different perspective on my bucketful of what ifs. As I become more committed to understanding my purpose a