Question by Beautiful: is it normal for a girl to not feel aroused while having sex?
hello peepz.Im 19 and i have a wonderful boyfriend.He’s madly in love with me and we have an awesome relationship as we r best friends as well.I lost my virginity to him a couple of weeks back and it hurt that time.he was very gentle and caring.When we did it the second time(a week back), it hurt again!not only it hurt at times, but i did not feel aroused at all.I could feel what’s happening but that’s all.afterwards i was so disappointed and started crying.Naturally i thought sex would be as magical for me as it is with other girls.My boyfriend,being the sweetheart he is,calmed me down and said that we’ll go to a doctor and check if anything is wrong with either of us.I know we should but im very worried. He’s helping me out a lot but i just feel so uncomfortable.what should i do?
I do love him a lot lot lot Jenn:)…and i lost my virginity to him only after knowing that love cant get better than this.
Best answer:
Answer by Jenn
You said he loves you but do you love him? Maybe you should stop having sex with him. It’s truly a shame that you gave up your virginity to him. I don’t think you need a doctor – you need a new boyfriend.
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when you have sex for the first time its not pleasurable, well for most girls anyway, because its at that time you get all nervous and agitated and there is some pain, so you are less likely to get aroused because of all that stress
sex is going to hurt the first few times but it gets better i promise it gets ALOT better
honey, if you are uncomfortable, its for a reason. listen to your gut.
For everyone, the sexual experience is different. You can go to the doctor and make sure that everything is ok. But if you feel uncomfortable doing so with your boyfriend then go alone. It may just be how you are made up-internally or there could be problems. So go to a gyn and see what’s up. Nothing wrong in knowing your body.
it is not a problem that u did not feel aroused. it happened to me to the first time and the second time, the reason y is because u focused more on the pain than enjoying the moment. i bet if u try again and this time try to be more relaxed and close ur eyes think about what u doing instead of just doing it.
give it time it doesnt feel “great for you for a while” and maybe he should try to make you more aroused how experienced is he? just talk and have him do what feels good
ya
Even though you are 19, you are simply not ready for sex.
Take a nice long break…you be the one to decide when you want to try again. In the meantime, try masterb. to orgasm. this will help you prepare. You will start to get the idea of what you like.
In the beginning most teens just rush up on the deal like it’s sink or swim…It isn’t like that. Wade in, then paddle around a bit and then try a few strokes. Take it really slow….you will get the hang over time.
Girls lie to each other about their terrific sex life just like guys do.
Everyone hypes their sexual prowess and in fact many people aren’t having the magic they claim. You will find it all in time.
You have your whole life in front of you to have sex. Don’t put so much pressure on either of you. And don’t do what you don’t want to do.
Good luck, welcome to adulthood. This is exactly why adults tell teens to wait. It isn’t what anyone thinks it’s going to be. That’s a fact.
Use lotions and lots of lubes and it will go fine
i was 19 when I had sex for the first time. it wasn’t really painful, but it wasn’t enjoyable either. I didn’t start having “fun” until we had done it for a few times. I wouldn’t go to a doctor yet, it is probably because you are nervous. you just need to quit feeling nervous b/c if you are worried about it then you will never be able to enjoy yourself. I would recommend a Cosmo Magazine and read it together with your BF. You should also get a vibrator-I recommend the “mini massager”, if is fairly cheap, like $8, and it is very small (about 4″ long). also get some lube-you can find some almost everywhere. and just fool around with your bf, then move to sex-but most of all you need to relax.