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Are You Sucking the Excitement Out of Your Relationships?

If you are a Lover, your passion is connection, the intimacy of giving and receiving. Whether you are sharing your gifts and talents with the world at large, or you are having a one-on-one love relationship, marital relationship, friendship, a family member, or a relationship with a co-worker, you enjoy fusing your essential being with everything in life. Connecting with other people makes you feel grounded, secure, needed, valued, supported, happy, good about yourself, comforted, and loved.

Since relationship is the main focus of your life, when you’re not in a romantic relationship, you’re probably looking for one. You can teach others how to love and “do” intimacy.  When the Lover is in bloom, you light up the world. Your enthusiasm, creativity, charisma, and openness make you irresistible. Your glow ignites the glow in others and helps them grow into their full potential. Lovers are wonderful people to know and love.
But as the day is followed by the night, the Lover’s glow casts a shadow. At their worst, Lovers are “energy vampires,” over-connecters who fuse with a grip that can be intensely smothering. As the Vamp, they can be desperately needy, self-centered, and depleting. In anger, they can whip up a storm and strike out with lethal words, wanting to hurt those who have hurt them. Vamps can burn out the people in their lives with drama after drama.
Vamps can be very charismatic and sexy in relationships. When they turn their attention in your direction, they can charm the pants off you. As long as the experience lasts, you’ll feel as though you are the most brilliant, fascinating creature in the universe. The trouble is, it may not last long. As soon as they’ve got you hooked, they are likely to

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