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could not and would not be able to hide from death. Not merely because I couldn’t, but because I didn’t want to. Death eased the…

Does this sentence nouns funny?
dose the part in brackets need to be re worded?Is it more big to be involved in basketball, soccer, girl scouts and go to violin and piano practice every week or [do your priorities lie surrounded by academics?] Maybe change do to should but it sounds ok =) But the beginning may need rather bit girl scouts…

Does this short conversation hold any grammatical errors?
Bob: Your dad was so mad.Charles: How mad? Like, be he yelling at you or something?Bob: Yeah. Um… quotation marks? It’s a conversation. It’s not like someone’s gonna utter, By jove man! your father was livid at your behavior! It’s not that bad,especially considering it’s just two average culture talking, but the ‘How mad?’ is…

Does this snatch your attention?
My book is already finished but it struck me that for it to be any good it has to grab you surrounded by the first few seconds, so does this grab you? Don’t worry i haven’t copied page ;)PrologueSome people say that within existence its self only death remains; nothing and everything can’t exist together anymore. There be…

Does this story come across too overcast for a seventh level narrative project?
I’m sorry it’s so long but is there anything I need to improve on or fix? it’s due tomarrow and I reallly involve help. Since i was gone i don’t have anyone to proofread for me. Also is it too cloudy? I’m thirteen and in seventh…

Does this story come across too shadows for a seventh position narrative

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