Question by Aryn: Cans sex still be sacred even if we treated it differently in the past?
My fiance and I have an unexplainable bond – we share true friendship and passion. He is my soul mate. Lately I have been feeling kind of sick thinking about my past and his. I wonder, how can sex be sacred if both of us treated it so differently in the past? I feel like we have to share each other with the others of our past. I feel like those memories taint us now…
Its not like we dont have great mind blowing sex. But there is always going to be a little bit of jealousy in the back of my mind thinking about his past, and I am guessing same goes for him. I try not to think about it, but its like it is always nagging at me, I feel sick thinking about him being intimate with others. I dont desire anyone but him, but the memories of others are always there, and I feel like they will always be a part of me. I wish I kept myself pure for him, so that I wouldnt have to be haunted by these memories. I never used to think of sex as being so sacred until I met him. A lot of spiritual people (religious and not) feel that sex is a sacred act that binds two souls together. Honestly, in a way I do feel that this is true, even when I have had sex with people I dont love or barely know, I will always look at them differently after that, because they were a part of me once. We will always carry around those memories of intimacy, always have that comparison, and always remember those special connections and pleasurable feelings with the others we loved even if some were only for a moment.
Will I ever be able to move forward from my past, and how can I do the same and forget about his? How can I stop this regret and jealousy?
If you are just going to call me some stupid religious weirdo, then dont bother answering. This has nothing to do with religion, it is a spiritual question – there is a difference. If you dont understand my beliefs/feelings, then dont answer
Best answer:
Answer by djnstuff
HEE HAW WE’S A GONNA OURSELVES A GREAT BIG OARGY!!!!11!1!111oneoneone!!111
What do you think? Answer below!
Just look at all those past partners as practice for the big game.
as for yourself, liberate yourself from guilt. having sex is a learning process that you may go through with several people. Until you learn how to do it well, and find out what you want and need, in a satisfying partnership.
as for your partner, liberate yourself from self-doubt and mistrust until you can accept that while he won’t forget his previous partners, as they make the sum of his experience, here’s wishing you that he loves you wholly and exclusively, now.
Discuss it with your fiance, anything we tell you here has absolutely no bearing on the relationship you two share.
If you cant talk openly about things that are upsetting you now, things are going to get very rough very quickly after you’re married a few years down the road.
Flatter yourself with the knowledge that he has refused all others since meeting you. How could you expect him to do the same before he even knew of your existence?
I was never jealous of my ex’s past lovers because of the reasons stated above. I was, however, very jealous and very hurt when he had others after me.
I think you answered your own question. It seems like it IS sacred to you right now. There’s no way to erase the memory of the “others”, but at least now you understand that sex is a sacred bond between you and another and you won’t take it so lightly anymore.
I feel this way alot myself. People are so sexually promiscuous and think nothing of it. It’s sad really. We live in such a world of instant gratification that waiting for sex seems crazy! I’m no virgin but have recently been searching for God in my life and I’ve come to a conclusion that it’s probably best to save myself from this point on. You really need to get to know someone before you have sex, because after that bond is made, it’s there. Then you have this spiritual connection with someone and feel strongly for them and they could turn out to be a complete psycho! Pre-marital sex, in my opinion, is the cause of ALOT of the relationship problems.
Take care and good luck in your marriage 🙂
You can stop it by realizing you are confusing “sex” with “making love.” Making love binds two people together, and that is what you have with your current man. You never had that before with anyone else; back then it was just animalistic carnal actions, no different than eating a hamburger with someone or tickling them or doing a puzzle together. You can have a spiritual connection with a father, mother, brother or sister without having a physical connection with them. So you had a physical connection without the spiritual. It’s like having to eat stale food and now having a banquet feast; there’s no real comparison. You feel appreciated and liked on all levels now. As you never had that before, you should not feel bad about your past for it taught you to realize what a prince you have now. Otherwise, you might not be appreciating him as much as you do, as you had no frogs, nothing to compare him to.
So, cherish the past that allows you to appreciate your glorious present.
And this goes both ways: realize that if anyone in his past was as good as you, he’d still be with them. In one way or the other, each of them was lacking, and now they are just dust and memories. Just as you needed your past to meet him, he also needed his past so he can now cherish and appreciate you in a way he would not have otherwise been able to do.