its various forms and how each feels, including eros (sensuality and passion), philo (the love between friends), and agape (the love of God, or, more generally, the kindness and compassion we show to all people when we recognise them as divine and special beings, just like us).
For Rumi, any (and all) of these forms of love is a gateway through which we can step to meet God. When we are loving and loved by another, our perceptions change and things become brighter, clearer, and more meaningful. We see the world as it really is: alive, intelligent, and benign. Even a gesture from our lovers can leave us swooning in sacred meaning. We wake up to the world and, through this awakening, we realise that everyone and all things are part of a single consciousness: We are One – and, more remarkable still: We are all God.
The problem for modern relationships is the pace of life. We do not have time to reflect on love, to experience it fully, or even to be in the company of our lovers as much as we would like. We are always wanted somewhere else. On top of this, in the modern age, we are all consumers and consumed. As consumers of a fast-food lifestyle, we have grown to expect instant answers and gratification; to simply be ‘in love’ and our lovers to feel the same.
Love’s confusions arise from this because love, despite the spin which makes it look so easy, is never really that simple. It requires that we look more deeply at ourselves and our lovers, who have been gifted to us by God for our mutual spiritual advancement, and not approach them just with expectations to be met.
If we accept love in this way, we will learn from it and grow; if we have demands and expectations,