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by your Master for your faithful service!  Get a life and stop giving me trouble!  You know that if you faced me in a one on one debate, I would wipe you out!  If you are angry at what I say, simply vent at my guestbook with specific criticisms.  You’ll note that in the PDF and RTF version of this, the paragraph tabs are often wrong.  This is due to malfuntion of the the word processor.  So, finally, it all begins next page!                                             
                           

MY INAUGURAL ADDRESS AT THE GREAT WHITE THRONE JUDGMENT OF                         THE DEAD

                                              Introducing Myself

    

    (The time is midnight E.S.T.  I stand before global television to explain my rapturing out billions.  I made the broadcast at this hour to help prevent the possibility that any children would see this, although in different time zones around the world children are up).  Good evening ladies and gentlemen.  I’m addressing you from Washington, D.C., the political capital of Hell. I have descended here to the pit of Hell to address you.  Before I begin, I want to insist that no children view this broadcast.  This is off limits to anyone under 12 years old.  Leave the room, and go to bed!  You will find that I talk fast, that I change the subject frequently, and in general it will come across as incoherent gibberish.  You’ll wake up tomorrow morning and go ‘what did he say?’  You’ll try to remember, but you’ll have a hard time.  I urge you to record this

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