Captain Nemo, am the captain of this ship – always have been and always will be. But, as passengers, I advise you to stroll over the decks to the railings and look over the side of the ship. You see the name Titanic painted on the side. Now look down at the waterline. There’s a huge gash and we’re taking on water. We’re going down! Soon we’ll be underwater. Glub! Glub! Not much time left.. Glub! Glub!
The Joke
I want to start off with a little humor. Speakers always begin with a joke:
I notice these days that so many of you have piled on the pounds, you’re getting the love handles, and some of you are so roly poly that you’re round like a beachball. There is a reason you’re that way. Just like pigs led to slaughter are fattened up so that the flavor is improved, we, the fairies, have stuffed you full of fairy food – junk food laden with fat and calories. This is so that when we slice you up and cook you, the fat gives more flavor.
Twilight Zone: Cookbook – To Serve Man
I’m sure that has you rolling in the aisles. But seriously, you spend billions every year on diet products and gym memberships. I am going to save you a lot of money. I’m going to solve your problem. You’ll find that when you have no food at all to eat, you have no problem losing weight. It will melt right off.
. The Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33