have desire. This assumes the man has some mastery over his ejaculation response so that ending lovemaking is a conscious choice, sometimes including ejaculation, sometimes not. With Tantric loving you wind down your lovemaking with slow caresses, words of endearment and honoring each other with food and drink.
9. Sharing Wine, Food and Other Sensual Pleasures
The sharing of good food, wine and other intoxicants, sensual massage, dressing up in costumes and playing sexual games are part of the ancient Tantric tradition. While Tantra is serious, it need not be heavy. Lighten up; be playful, lusty and daring!
Tantra lovers know that they are personally responsible for their own sexual fulfillment and their own spiritual progress. This may be especially important for men. Many men experience a great deal of performance anxiety. But even the greatest, most sensitive, highly skilled Tantric lover cannot make a woman have orgasms. She must be able to go to that place in herself that is orgasmic. Sexual/spiritual ecstasy has little to do with control. It requires trust, surrender and letting go. Both lovers must learn to do this. If there is some psychological work to do before you will allow yourself to open in this way, then get on with it! In the meantime, please each other with the preparation, serving and consumption of fine food and drink. Lavish each other with touching in sensual massage. Dress up (and down) for each other. Take on different personalities with different costumes; wear masks. Play and laugh together. Celebrate your spirit through your sexuality. Open your heart. Let your lover in and your love out!
Al Link and Pala Copeland own and operate 4 Freedoms Relationship Tantra. They regularly host lover’s romantic weekends near Ottawa Canada, and weeklong retreats in exotic locations. For more info Visit www.tantra-sex.com, www.sexyspiritualrelationships.com and their blog www.askaboutloveandsex.com or send email: 4freedoms@tantraloving.com