strain of his inherited aspirations to leadership and the cold knowledge of being very much alone. His brothers and sisters may have well considered him an odd ball. A vision of martyrdom even, has its rewards for its aspirant, but despite his intensive intellectual training away from home, Jesus was a very loving and contented man who would have felt loathe to risk giving up his life meaninglessly. He panicked at the prospect and did not always fully understand the implications of his mission. He wished at one point or another that he could jump off this train of fate without this ultimately horrendous personal sacrifice. He appears to have been surrounded by Sicarii or Zealots, much wanted by the authorities as terrorist, so it is also pretty obvious that they knew of his place in their aspirations. Jesus´s quoted sayings show that he would have been quite happy as a teacher and a lover of humanity, set on giving people hope and sense of purpose. This, amazingly enough, is as close as one can get to Sufi training. In fact the closer we get to the circumstances of the The Passion narration, the more it starts to become an ultimate exercise in self negation and pursuit of the final destruction of the ego and its multiple fears. The final destruction in a Sufi sense, would imply survival at the end of the physical and mental suffering. In the bible story, both are clearly illustrated side by side very graphically and somehow one would feel that this was deliberate for the reader to note the important combination. The word atonement which really means at peace with oneself, is really Nirvana and it is utilised in the Christian destiny as part of the price of adherence to the code. Without the doubts and the overcoming of genuine fears, there is no
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