appropriate to the current challenges, we are on autopilot-unconsciously controlled by the programmed decisions we made to deal with the trauma and drama of our childhood.
Here are two real-life examples my friend Sulana shares from her life that demonstrate how childhood decisions affect the way we create life in the present:
The Great Pretender
“When I was young, my punishment du jour was being sent to my room. My room became a safe haven from the rantings and irrational behavior of my alcoholic parents. To lessen the scoldings and whippings, I quickly learned to stay silent about what I felt or observed. I naturally created strategies to keep myself as safe as possible: hiding my feelings, telling white lies, using sarcasm, and spending lots of time alone. And I discovered I got attention from my parents by getting ill or acting confused. So, I developed asthma and played dumb.
“Now as an adult, I long for honest, expressive relationships with co-workers and employers-and playful, truthful relationships with friends and lovers. But my own unconscious behavior sabotages the openness and intimacy I so deeply desire. I try to get people to talk about themselves without revealing anything about myself. I pretend to not know information that I do know. And I look for attention and love from other people by getting sick and playing helpless and spacey.”
The Ex-Flower Child
“At first my new job delivering flowers was right up my alley. I enjoyed the time driving gave me to be with myself. Then the management changed our original agreement and required that I work more hours and drive longer distances for less pay. Running on my childhood programming, I kept my resentment to myself and became moody. I felt like